Testing, testing! This post is a test!

Not that kind of test, silly.

Sorry for calling you silly. If you have anxiety over tests, then you’ve probably come to the right place.

If you think taking a test and getting anything below a 98% may as well be failing, then you’re definitely in the right place.

You’d also be in the right place if

  • your mom ever forced you to take standardized tests you didn’t have to just to see how you did compared to other kids, and then when you qualified for the gifted program, having only gotten one question wrong, she demanded you tell her why you’d missed a question.
  • you were always tired the next day at school because you’d been up all night reading.
  • you have very strong opinions on anti-Stratfordianship–– that opinion, of course, being that they’re classist morons.
  • you use em-dashes with abandon––
  • you thought you were smarter than other girls, but then you realized you’re just gay.
    • But you’re not just gay. You’re, like, really gay. You’re no amateur. You’re a professional gay.
  • you could name Mitski’s entire discography without breaking a sweat. (Lush and Retired From Sad are soooo underrated.)
  • you don’t understand how white people can just go about their lives not eating rice at least once a day.
  • you hold a grudge against Tolstoy not only for being a notorious asshole who horrifically abused his wife, but because he had this to say on Shakespeare.
  • your idea of a good time is sitting in a field with a good book and some fruit.
  • sometimes you wish that you could’ve been a Romantic, but then you remember that they were probably all racist & antisemitic and wouldn’t have liked you very much.
  • you would still enjoy writing poetry in the woods somewhere, though.
  • whenever people ask you about your opinions on television, film, or literature, they always end up hearing more than they bargained for.
  • there’s that one epic poem that’s always on your mind.
  • you only own one pair of shoes, but you just can’t stop buying notebooks–– which always seem to keep disappearing, anyway.
  • when you were little, you wanted to be a knight.
  • your greatest dream in life is still to swing a big sword around.
  • you love animation, but hate Disney.
  • you relate a bit too much with the kid from Wells for Boys.
  • men like you because they know you’re unattainable.
  • you want to fight Plato; you don’t care how jacked he was.
  • you think Emily Dickinson was a lesbian––

–– Welcome to The Pomegranate.

This shall be a space for me to store my hottest takes (and perhaps yours too?). Feel free to peruse at your leisure. As of now (7/7/19) there is very little to peruse, but soon enough, there shall be all kinds of writings plastering the walls of this little corner of the Internet.

Some topics to expect are as follows:

  • Television
  • Film
  • Art
  • Literature
  • Feminism
  • Judaism
  • Queer theory
  • Shakespeare
  • Lots, and lots of Shakespeare

So if you like what you see, stick around.

Now go eat a pomegranate.

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